Everyday is a Birthday and Celebrated as Such

Left to right front: Judy and Grannie Bea
Left to right back: Ferrin and Carlynn
Left to right (front): Judy and Grannie Bea; (back): Ferrin and Carlynn

Today marks my grandmother’s 98th birthday! Last year, Chevron’s former Chief Diversity Officer asked Chevron employees for their stories of resiliency. In response to that ask, I wrote about my grandmother (Grannie Bea). She is 98 years strong and she has instilled resiliency within me by her influence in my life. Her story was so welcomed by the Chevron community, read by over 6,000 employees and over 100 comments, that it spurred me to create a birthday book for her with those employee comments from all over the world to show her that her story not only has impacted me, but also those that read about her. I wanted to share her story with you as well in recognition of her birthday. #resiliency #ChevronTogether #HeAR #strongwomen

Written October 21, 2020:

My mom passed away in late June 2007, she was 55 years old. I had just graduated from college the year prior and moved to Houston, TX…12 hours away from my home in Mississippi.

This story is not all sad, so please stay with me. The context of my mom’s passing is important to begin to describe my grandmother (my mom’s mom), Beatrice Barron or Grannie Bea as my sister and I call her. Grannie Bea has been a primary influence in my independence as a woman and having a successful career.

When my mom passed, it was obviously hard for me and for Grannie Bea. A parent should never experience the loss of a child, no matter the age. Although I had always been close to Grannie Bea, my mom’s death brought us even closer. The photo of Grannie Bea, my aunt and sister…the 4 of us are the immediate family left on my mom’s side. We have all grown closer since my mom’s death and I cherish every moment of our visits, phone calls and conversations. Each of us represent my mom and keep her memory alive. I like to think that this photo represents a present-day picture of my mom. Can you see her? She is alive and well because family is a reflection of those we have lost. Lost loved ones live on within us.

Grannie Bea will be 97 years old on November 4. She is feisty, independent and can talk the horns off a billy goat. She still lives in her house, the house that she and my grandfather built nearly 70 years ago. She lives unassisted and prefers it that way. She tells me that she feels great from the waist up but the waist down is another story. Her hips are not in the best shape. She’s in pain constantly and because of her age, surgery is out of the question and pain meds are a challenge. Her mind is clear and she can recall dates, memories and even family trees of other families just fine. Her memory works better than mine. She often will start a conversation like this, “do you remember Barbara? She was married to a Bernard, but her family was the Smith’s and her cousin is Sally and Sally married a Turner and her mom worked at the bank downtown and we all go to church together.” It’s very entertaining how she knows everyone locally in the small town of Booneville, MS. Her mind is sharp!

Grannie Bea has made it a priority to call and check on me, especially since my mom passed. Like I mentioned earlier, Grannie Bea can TALK and she shares frequently about family history. I’ve developed a habit to have a notepad and pen close by and jot down the artifacts she shares. My aunt often refers to them as Bea-isms. 😊 I’ll share a photo of some of my collection of the notepad paper I’ve accrued during our conversations below.

Notes from our phone conversations…

I often think it’s ironic that her birthday falls so close to election day. She has shared with me that she has only missed voting twice (as in 2 times!) in her lifetime! She also proudly tells me she’s been a Democrat since the age of 18. And speaking of her sharp mind, she still manages 2 rental houses and the leasing of 49 acres of farmland and 30 acres of pastureland. She even meets with the farmer to discuss what crop will be grown on the acreage depending upon what the market is doing! Cotton served the farmer and her well last year because soybeans were a bust the year prior. My Grannie Bea is something else!

My grandfather, Ruel, served in WWII and when he came home, he married Grannie Bea on March 12, 1948. They moved to Booneville, MS and bought a gas station/store and that’s was his job until they sold it in 1988. They lived in the back of the store until they could afford to build their house. Grannie Bea worked at the gas station/store after she got off work at the factory where she worked for 24 years making clothing. In 1942, she made army pants and from 1948 – 1972, she made dress shirts in her factory job.

She remembers when electricity came to nearby cities. In 1936 electricity came to Tupelo, MS and in 1940 Corinth, MS received electricity. Although I’m so impressed with my grandmother’s memory recall, what strikes me most and inspires me to be a better person is her attitude. She’s shared with me that “everyday should be considered a birthday and celebrated as such”. She once told me that my mom and aunt didn’t have a home economics class in school, her philosophy is to “get a cookbook and teach yourself”! I often think Grannie Bea was born before her time because she doesn’t succumb to the social norms, even during her day. She worked outside the home even with having 2 daughters. She and my grandfather shared chores, she cooked, and he washed the dishes. She’s encouraged me many times to get as much education as I needed to be successful in my career and “don’t ever depend upon a man”. This is so unlike the deep south culture and I am so thankful for her encouragement to be independent!

In my most recent conversation with her, we were discussing the pandemic and she said she’s never seen anything like this. She hasn’t been outside her house since early February. She has a great community that calls to check on her often, knocks on her door to say hello from a distance. Her spirits remain high regardless and she said, “might as well smile and laugh about it because I can’t change it”. She’s always had a positive spirit and I wonder if that has something to do with her long, quality life. Growing up as a little girl and staying at her house, she preferred to read the “funny papers”, the comics and she’d just laugh. She’s never been one for emotions, she’d tell me not to cry and always finds the silver lining in any dark cloud. She is a bright light in my life, and I feel very blessed and honored that she’s my Grannie Bea.

How Many Ways Can You Hear?

Is the title a little confusing? If you take a gander at the original poem below, you may understand a little more of what I mean. The title states ‘hear’; please note, I don’t mean listen. Listening and hearing are 2 very separate things in my book. Anyone can listen, but to really hear someone, that means to understand too. So many of us are misunderstood! And one of the very carnal desires of most is to be understood. Most of the time, people are telling us who they are and subtle characteristics about themselves through so many avenues other than speaking. How many ways are you open to people telling you who they are?

I came across the image above on pinterest a few years ago. After I read it, something struck me and I had to write. These are the results:

 

She’s Telling You Who She Is….

 In countless ways, she’s telling you who she is.

She’s telling you by working so hard. She’s goal oriented, driven, determined. She never backs down from a challenge. When she’s knocked down, she gets back up again to fight even harder. She’s telling you who she is.

She’s telling you through her fitness, pouring sweat, it’s not easy. Shaping a body that is like a canvas of a sculpter’s stone. She’s carving away the negativity, she’s bringing out the beauty, she’s bringing out the best. She’s telling you who she is.

She’s telling you who she is through words written in letters from the heart; from the soul. She’s opening up doors to show you her deepest feelings, her deepest disappointments, her deepest desires. It’s something she’s never shared before. Can you hear her? She’s telling you who she is.

She’s telling you who she is by the fighter inside. She’s made tough choices and done her very best. She’s still standing tall, she won’t back down, she’ll stare opposition in the face. She’ll climb the highest mountain and swim the deepest sea. She’ll fight the toughest, meanest fighter in the ring. Doing it all the while telling you who she is.

She’s telling you who she is by where she’s standing in her journey. Where she’s been and where she is now. Hard road, big choices and knowing she’ll make it. How many could say the same? How many have done the same? She’s telling you who she is.

She’s telling you who she is with her heart, a heart so strong to have survived so much. Following her heart, making choices the best she knows how. She’s telling you who she is.

She’s telling you who she is through her bravery. Standing alone and taking risks to discover her own. She’s not afraid to lose. She’s not afraid to let go, to feel pain and loss. She’s telling you who she is.

She’s telling you who she is through her eyes; through her speech. Her eyes are clear and with looking deeply enough, you will see there’s a big story to tell, a story worth hearing, a story that has been fought and earned in truth. She’ll tell you in her own way; in her own time with precise words and much wisdom beyond her years. She’s telling you who she is.

The questions that remain…are you big enough to know? Can you understand? Do you dare to know? All these things she will need answered to see if she can trust. If your eyes are blind and your ears are deaf, there is no investment and you will never know no matter the many ways she tells you who…. I ….. am ……

By Carlynn Rainey