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Part 4: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

This article was originally published in the Tishomingo County News, linked here.

If you missed parts 1 – 3, find them linked here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

The downsides to working with Downtown Paws were twofold; working outside also meant working in the rain and I was alone all day. While I processed my mother’s death, I think being alone was good. There came a time, however, that I needed to be around people, and I was ready for a new challenge. After some job applications and interviews, I received a position with the church I was attending, West Houston Church of Christ (WHCC). This job meant I would be back in an office setting. Was I nervous? Yes! Did I think things were going to be different this time? I wasn’t sure. This was somewhere familiar and with people I knew, so it seemed less threatening. This job was the Administrative Assistant to the Senior Minister. He was relatively low maintenance, and my main responsibilities were found in creating weekly and quarterly publications; event planning; database management; etc. I was able to lean into my creative and analytical skillsets in this job and it came with a pay increase.

I think it’s important to pause here and note that some people know exactly who and what they want to be when they grow up. I admire these people who know their strengths and relentlessly pursue them. For me, though, it wasn’t about what or who I wanted to be. I was still trying to figure out how to survive. I was still trying to manage this anxiety and I hadn’t had enough space from it to know if the worst were behind me. If I could characterize my career journey to this point it would be like a map. My map was really hard to read and had many, many detours because of construction. I was building something. It was painfully slow, brick by brick. 

I was holding my breath those first couple of weeks at WHCC…not sure if I would sink or swim. The familiarity of the place and people helped. I know, I know, when you think about working at a church, you probably think a very small office and older employees. These assumptions would be incorrect. The office staff was made up of 12 employees. Almost half the staff, including myself, were in their mid to late 20’s. But everyone was young at heart, especially Andy who was always so positive, happy and randomly bursting out in song. He was the worship minister. Mary was extremely kind to me with the loss of my mom and she became like a second mom. Shawn, she became my best friend. James and Tim were supportive and encouraging. We all were a great team. We worked hard and had fun too. I worked at WHCC for 3 years.

Something in me had shifted after my mom’s death. She had been very sick with diabetes that led to kidney failure. She had congestive heart failure among other ailments. I wanted to honor my mom’s memory by taking better care of my health. That led to joining the YMCA which coincidentally was only a block from WHCC. Going to fitness classes became my favorite pastime. Pro tip: exercise is GREAT for anxiety! It only took one kickboxing class taught by Misty and I was hooked. Misty became my personal trainer for a while. One day she asked me, “Why don’t you become a fitness instructor? You’d be great at it.” The thought never crossed my mind, but the seed was planted. With Misty’s help, I studied and became a certified fitness instructor. Not only was I working full time at WHCC, now I was teaching up to 10 classes a week and I loved every minute of it! 

The anxiety of working in an office setting was subsiding. I was building more confidence and self-esteem by teaching and helping others become better versions of themselves. I had the best, most fun students. The best compliment I have ever received was being nicknamed “Coach”. Who would have ever thought this shy, small-town girl would be leading boot camp, kickboxing, weight training classes, and getting paid to do it? Certainly not me.

Context is everything and hindsight too. When I reflect on how I got to this point in my story, it’s not nearly as much about me as it is about the people that walked beside me at the right times just as God intended. The ones that held up a mirror to reflect back to me my strengths and talents. Without those people, I wouldn’t have had courage or recognized my strengths. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be, “Don’t discount the people along your journey. Listen to them. Believe them when they tell you that you are good at something. Don’t be afraid to lean on people. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. God has a plan for you.” 

Remember what I referenced in Part 3? The ebbs and flows of life and even if professional success is happening, it doesn’t always bleed over into personal success. What many didn’t know was my marriage was on the rocks. Things may have looked great on the outside, but they weren’t on the inside. My marriage would eventually end. This would be the third major life event which would forge a path to Corporate America.

So, what happens next? How did I move forward? Only 2 articles left! Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story in part 5 of this career series from a small-town girl in the big city.

From Dish Gloves to Life Lessons

Several weeks ago, I found myself rummaging under the kitchen sink for dish gloves. A few dishes wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher and needed to be washed by hand. My skin had begun to burn under the scalding water, thus my rummaging to find something to save my skin! Score, found them! I hadn’t used these dish gloves in quite some time; they had become a forgotten item under the sink. What I thought would be a simple task of washing a few dishes instead became a flood of memories. Memories that made me smile and my heart hurt a little bit for the time that has passed. Have you encountered that before? An item stirring up a walk down memory lane.

I remembered where dish gloves were used everyday…that would be at my grandmother’s house, Grannie Bea. She has no dishwasher, only her hands. What I also remembered was it wasn’t just her hands that washed dishes, my grandfather often put on those bright yellow dish gloves and cleaned up the kitchen too. I remember him telling Grannie Bea, “you cooked, I’ll clean up”. They had a true partnership. She worked alongside him at their gas station/general store they owned and he helped with chores around the house. I’d never thought much about this model in marriage or partnership before, but now that I’m older and I consider their generation, it’s probably not so normal that my grandfather chipped in around the house with chores. It was probably not so normal that my grandmother worked outside the home. And then I thought about the example they set for my mom and my aunt and also for my sister and me.

I can remember putting on those bright yellow dish gloves when I was old enough and took a turn at washing dishes after a wonderful meal had been prepared by my grandmother. Who knew valuable life lessons could be taught by such a simple item such as dish gloves? We all play a part in our families. In order to thrive and function well means we take turns, pick up the slack or let another family member or friend chip in so it can all get done.

How do you tag team with your family to get all the things done in your home?