Tag: fitness

Bridal Fitness – Mind Over Matter

Every bride dreams of her wedding day. Those dreams usually begin when she’s a little girl. Everything perfect. Every detail thought out completely and executed perfectly. Everything in its place and everything just so. As much as we can dream about a perfect day, it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen that way. I’m not one to get hung up on the small details. I’ve coordinated enough events for work to understand that something isn’t going to go as planned, there is going to be something I haven’t thought about and there is going to be something that didn’t get communicated and therefore leading to a failed execution. I’m not so concerned with that. At the end of the day, Jeff and I will be married and that is the most important thing.

There is a particular wedding day circumstance that stays in the back of my mind and I feel the need to share and address it. I know I’m certainly not the only bride that feels this way and my hopes are that by sharing, it may uplift another bride and maybe give her words that she doesn’t know quite how to express. And to be honest, it’s a reminder to myself. Every bride wants to look her best and most brides elect to lose “x” amount of weight before the wedding. I am no different. My goal was relatively small. 10 pounds, I wanted to lose 10 pounds and if I accomplished that, I was going to lose more. The year of 2018 has proven a year of challenges and setbacks and I can tell you I’m walking down the aisle having lost basically zero. I am ok with this and I’m not ok with it. Let me explain.

There’s not a minute that goes by during the day that I don’t think about needing to get a workout in, to make better food choices, to take the stairs instead of the elevator, to park further from the store to get more steps in, to hit 12,000 steps a day….and the list continues. The truth is, even though I’ve been known as the “fitness girl” several years back, sometimes life’s challenges don’t allow you to be “fitness girl”. As I mentioned before, 2018 has been a year of challenges and setbacks. One of which I recently blogged about, Bell’s Palsy. Other challenges I’ve encountered are…hurting my back 3 times which in turn caused incredible discomfort down my left leg. My beloved cat of 16 years had to be put to sleep. The most difficult decision I’ve made and literally shredded my heart. Two weeks after my beloved cat passed, my beloved, 14-year-old dog became extremely ill, having to go to the ER vet 4 times and her regular vet 3 times. My job moved to Midland, TX which meant I had to find another job in Houston, so I changed jobs as well this year. I am not throwing a pity party and these words are not to hash out all the stuff that went wrong this year. The point of all of this is to say that life happens, and you do the best you can with it. It may not look perfect, but it’s the best you can do, and you must be ok with it, even when you aren’t. When your world falls apart and everything is going wrong, you pick up the pieces and put them back together again as best as you can and that’s all that can be expected. So, I say this as a reminder to myself, instead of beating yourself up, remember the fire you’ve walked through. You’ve survived, and you are still standing and own your wedding day! Celebrate it! Life comes in seasons and this is definitely not the season to be at my top fitness level. One day it will be, but not today and I’m ok with that. Love yourself where you are. Enjoy today! Feel the beauty that makes up who you are and radiate that from within because your wedding day will reflect it. What I’m looking forward to most is sharing this special day with our closest friends and family. We will share our love, our united family and what an incredible day it will be! That is a blessing and everything else is just the details. Love who you are today, where you are today! Own it and rock it down the aisle!

Hope in Loss – A Fierce Perspective

Fierce ForwardI’m excited to share with you a journal entry that I wrote several months ago. I’m also fiercely excited to share with you how I came to write this journal entry. I have been a part of a group called Fierce Forward since, gosh, around 2010. Or maybe I’ve just been a fan of Ashley Johns since then. I first became aware of Ashley when she was competing for (and won!) the Bodybuilding.com spokesmodel campaign. (Sorry, I know I’m going link happy! But this is important to lay the ground work.) Ashley has an amazing weight loss transformation and journey. I encourage you to read her story!

Around 2010, Ashley created a Facebook group called Fierce Forward. Her mantra of Fierce Forward means moving fiercely forward in life, no matter the obstacle. Fierce Forward has evolved into a community of people that aspire to achieve their goals, dreams and to love themselves and own who they are. Ashley also is the creator of the intention bracelets. An intention bracelet is made of African trade beads and adorned with a charm of what I like to refer to as a power word. My first intention bracelet (which Jeff bought for me) was Strength. When wearing the strength bracelet, it helps me intentionally know and own my strength. You can also create stacks of the bracelets called Armor. These bracelets become armor when facing life’s challenges, reminding you to Focus or Breathe or Be, etc.. If you see me, I most likely am wearing one or more of the intention bracelets. My most recent purchase is the Truth intention bracelet, which leads me back to my journal entry.

Fierce Forward is a very active community. Ashley created the Sisterhood of the Fierce Traveling Journal a while back. Basically what this means is that if you want to participate in writing in a journal every week or so, you can be grouped together with 3-4 other women. After you complete your writing for the week, you put the journal in the mail to pass along to your sister. You can write in the journal, draw, paint, use stickers, or use any other medium to express yourself. Ashley usually has a theme for the journaling duration. I have participated in the Sisterhood of the Fierce Traveling Journal for the 4th time now! And actually, writing in these journals is what helped me solidify my desire to begin a blog. Sharing in these journals some of my most innermost thoughts and then putting it in the mail for another person to see is intimidating. But then, reading what the sisters in my group have shared…sharing their vulnerability in their stories of triumph and hurts in life; gave me the courage to begin my blog. We all have a story to tell and I believe that we can learn so much from one another! And if nothing else, we get to connect to each other through similar life circumstances. I am very grateful to Ashley for founding Fierce Forward; for creating a community full of fierceness and positivity, especially in the midst of such a negative, stressful world in which we live!

Soooo….I wanted to share with you one of my journal entries I wrote on May 13, 2015. This journal entry actually fits perfectly after completing my 3 part series last week.

“A healthy relationship, whether it is romantic, brotherly or friendly is when each person is allowed room to grow, un-judged and still loved.” – Unknown

“Here’s the truth about BIG life changes: Some people won’t come with you and that’s OK.” – Unknown

“Both of these quotes resonate with me. I’ve always loved words. To be able to matter-of-factly put into words what I feel is usually a shot in the dark, but I love the idea of being able to speak, to write and describe as eloquently as I can my thoughts and my feelings.

I, fortunately or unfortunately, have more experience with losing people than I care to admit and I have learned the very hard way what healthy relationships look like and what they do not. There was a time in my life where I changed so much so quickly that it literally felt like I lost my family and friends all at once. To be left alone when you need support, encouragement, love and someone to help you pick up the broken pieces….that is probably one of the worst feelings. Feeling like you don’t exist, that you aren’t valuable enough to register on your loved one’s radar. I guess its a lot like being in a glass box in the middle of Grand Central Station…no one can get to you and you can’t get to them. Divided by some invisible layer. Untouchable.

As alone and abandoned as I felt, I know it was for the greater good. I had a therapist tell me once that “the healthier you become, the further away you will distance yourself from the toxic, unhealthy people in your life.”

Some of those people I lost, I lost forever. They were only meant to be in my life briefly. There were others that I lost for only a short amount of time. Distance had to be created for healing to take place. Those relationships that have been restored have helped me regain hope and faith in people…in relationships. That distance and space allowed me the chance to grieve, to think, to heal, to let time help me understand the part of me that has been unhealthy so that I could become a better person. I found grace for myself and that in turn helped me have grace for those who may have hurt me. I can see a bigger picture now. And understand that maybe, just maybe, they were only doing the best they could and that I, too, was only doing the best I could.

Big changes will bring loss. In that loss, there can be hope of restoration, of understanding, reflection, of truth. And hopefully it will bring you to a better place where new or old relationships can allow  you the freedom to be exactly who you are and at the same time allow you enough sturdiness as an individual for people in your life to be exactly who they are.”
– Carlynn Rainey