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Part 7: Career Confessions From a Small Town Girl in the Big City

Part 7: Career Confessions

If you are just joining this series, catch up here: Career Confessions parts 1-6.

Career Confessions Bonus

Surprise, there’s a bonus! The Career Confessions series isn’t done yet! The story is still unfolding. As I was originally writing the Career Confession series back in 2023, I received an offer for a new job within Chevron. This time the position of Leadership Coach. In this role, I would coach leaders. Brand new leaders, influential leaders, seasoned leaders leading new teams, and any individual contributor that would like to take part in coaching. Each one of us has a leader within capable of learning leadership behaviors, and exercising them for lasting, sustainable results at work.  

Imposter Syndrome

With any new job, feelings and thoughts can surface that say “I’m not qualified”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t know what I’m doing”, “why did they pick me?!”, “what if they find out I can’t do this?!”, “what if they find out I don’t have the skills?!”, and on and on the fearful thoughts spiral. I am not and was not immune. I had many of these exact thoughts when I was selected for this opportunity. This experience has a name, it’s called Imposter Syndrome. It’s not only limited to work…you might experience it if you are a new parent or in a new season of parenting. You might experience it when caring for an aging parent, or a new volunteer opportunity. Anything that gets you out of your comfort zone could have you experiencing imposter syndrome.  

My new job as a Leadership Coach had me all in imposter syndrome. Anxiety had taken center stage a few times and I was battling through it. Remember the anxiety I wrote about experiencing in Part 1 and Part 2 of this series. Well, I was experiencing it again, but in a different way. I have tools to combat anxiety, and it was time to use them. I began thinking about Moses. Yes, Moses, the guy that God chose to be the spokesperson and leader of the Israelites. I felt that God had called me to this Leadership Coaching job and had created a way for me to do this job even if I felt over my head at times. I looked up the passages in Exodus and prayed through it. This is one way I battled with anxiety and imposter syndrome. I knew that if God had appeared to Moses in a burning bush and Moses said, “no, not me” to God, he must have had some serious imposter syndrome. I found comfort in knowing Moses felt less than, felt he wasn’t worthy, felt he didn’t speak well, felt he wasn’t up to the challenge. God doesn’t make mistakes and Moses had been chosen. This is how I prayed through scripture. 

Praying Through Scripture

Scripture: Exodus 3:10-11 – So now, go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt. But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” 

Prayer: Lord, how many times have you called me to action? How many times have I not heard or chose not to hear? Fear standing between you and me and what you are calling me to do. I am thankful for your word and for Moses. He doubted his worth. He doubted you, Lord. He doubted his capabilities. 

Scripture: Exodus 3:12 – And God said, “I will be with you…” 

Prayer: And yet you were patient and reassured Moses. 

Scripture: Exodus 4:1 – Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me.” 

Scripture: Exodus 4:10-15 – Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” 

Prayer: Even with your reassurance, Lord, Moses still doubts. 

Scripture: Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite?” I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you and will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.” 

Prayer: Lord, you were resolute in your choosing of Moses for the Israelites’ spokesperson. You pursued him. You were steadfast. May I remember this when I feel your calling of me. Thank you for your word that shows the imperfection of people. There is comfort in the human disbelief…that it’s not just me. Your calling is intentional. You teach, walk beside, and equip those you call. You never forsake. Thank you, Father, for showing me in your word that imposter syndrome is not new; that doubt is common in human flesh. May I apply this wisdom to my life. Hide this teaching in my heart. Grant me courage to overcome the doubt and fear to step out in faith. Help me, Father, to humbly obey and follow you. Thank you for your grace and your patience with me as I continually work to train my ears to hear your callings amongst all the worldly noise. Give me sensitivity to your whispers and nudges. Amen 

Tools to Battle Through Imposter Syndrome

Sometimes falling on our knees in prayer is the exact right way to battle. Did this prayer make the imposter syndrome go away? No, it didn’t. However, it kept me showing up to each meeting with each leader. It led me to pray before each coaching session and invite God into that conversation. These scriptures were a reminder that God equips who He has called. He doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I knew by showing up even with the discomfort of imposter syndrome, I was going to gain more and more confidence. I was going to make mistakes. I was going to learn from them. I was going to be better because I was scared and sometimes being scared is a great motivator. It’s motivation to learn quickly so you don’t feel that way anymore. God was equipping me through the fear and through the imposter syndrome.  

Scripture: James 1:2-4 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

I was only going to get through it by walking through it one step at a time. He used this opportunity to hold up a mirror to show me all the things I had the capabilities to do and had not recognized in myself yet. He was showing me that I was equipped all along, but I needed a nudge (or push) out in the middle of the ring…to feel exposed to grow into who He made me to be. I can’t tell you how many of the leaders I have coached that have told me about their imposter syndrome too. No one is immune. We are all fallible human beings. We are all capable of learning. We are all capable of growing. We are better by showing up and doing it scared. Don’t let the anxiety or fear prove you right. You prove the anxiety and fear wrong. Prove the imposter syndrome wrong.  

If you know someone that has recently changed jobs and is experiencing anxiety or imposter syndrome, please share this blog post and this series with them.

Part 4: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

This article was originally published in the Tishomingo County News, linked here.

If you missed parts 1 – 3, find them linked here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

The downsides to working with Downtown Paws were twofold; working outside also meant working in the rain and I was alone all day. While I processed my mother’s death, I think being alone was good. There came a time, however, that I needed to be around people, and I was ready for a new challenge. After some job applications and interviews, I received a position with the church I was attending, West Houston Church of Christ (WHCC). This job meant I would be back in an office setting. Was I nervous? Yes! Did I think things were going to be different this time? I wasn’t sure. This was somewhere familiar and with people I knew, so it seemed less threatening. This job was the Administrative Assistant to the Senior Minister. He was relatively low maintenance, and my main responsibilities were found in creating weekly and quarterly publications; event planning; database management; etc. I was able to lean into my creative and analytical skillsets in this job and it came with a pay increase.

I think it’s important to pause here and note that some people know exactly who and what they want to be when they grow up. I admire these people who know their strengths and relentlessly pursue them. For me, though, it wasn’t about what or who I wanted to be. I was still trying to figure out how to survive. I was still trying to manage this anxiety and I hadn’t had enough space from it to know if the worst were behind me. If I could characterize my career journey to this point it would be like a map. My map was really hard to read and had many, many detours because of construction. I was building something. It was painfully slow, brick by brick. 

I was holding my breath those first couple of weeks at WHCC…not sure if I would sink or swim. The familiarity of the place and people helped. I know, I know, when you think about working at a church, you probably think a very small office and older employees. These assumptions would be incorrect. The office staff was made up of 12 employees. Almost half the staff, including myself, were in their mid to late 20’s. But everyone was young at heart, especially Andy who was always so positive, happy and randomly bursting out in song. He was the worship minister. Mary was extremely kind to me with the loss of my mom and she became like a second mom. Shawn, she became my best friend. James and Tim were supportive and encouraging. We all were a great team. We worked hard and had fun too. I worked at WHCC for 3 years.

Something in me had shifted after my mom’s death. She had been very sick with diabetes that led to kidney failure. She had congestive heart failure among other ailments. I wanted to honor my mom’s memory by taking better care of my health. That led to joining the YMCA which coincidentally was only a block from WHCC. Going to fitness classes became my favorite pastime. Pro tip: exercise is GREAT for anxiety! It only took one kickboxing class taught by Misty and I was hooked. Misty became my personal trainer for a while. One day she asked me, “Why don’t you become a fitness instructor? You’d be great at it.” The thought never crossed my mind, but the seed was planted. With Misty’s help, I studied and became a certified fitness instructor. Not only was I working full time at WHCC, now I was teaching up to 10 classes a week and I loved every minute of it! 

The anxiety of working in an office setting was subsiding. I was building more confidence and self-esteem by teaching and helping others become better versions of themselves. I had the best, most fun students. The best compliment I have ever received was being nicknamed “Coach”. Who would have ever thought this shy, small-town girl would be leading boot camp, kickboxing, weight training classes, and getting paid to do it? Certainly not me.

Context is everything and hindsight too. When I reflect on how I got to this point in my story, it’s not nearly as much about me as it is about the people that walked beside me at the right times just as God intended. The ones that held up a mirror to reflect back to me my strengths and talents. Without those people, I wouldn’t have had courage or recognized my strengths. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be, “Don’t discount the people along your journey. Listen to them. Believe them when they tell you that you are good at something. Don’t be afraid to lean on people. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. God has a plan for you.” 

Remember what I referenced in Part 3? The ebbs and flows of life and even if professional success is happening, it doesn’t always bleed over into personal success. What many didn’t know was my marriage was on the rocks. Things may have looked great on the outside, but they weren’t on the inside. My marriage would eventually end. This would be the third major life event which would forge a path to Corporate America.

So, what happens next? How did I move forward? Only 2 articles left! Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story in part 5 of this career series from a small-town girl in the big city.

Coach Carlynn

Coaching started for me when I became a fitness 💪 instructor in my late 20’s. I fell in love with fitness classes, and one of the fitness instructors I fangirled over encouraged me to get certified to teach 👩🏻‍🏫.

So, I did.

I LOVED ♥️ every minute of teaching, coaching, encouraging others to push past their limits, and achieve their goals 🎯. There’s something addicting about watching someone have a “light bulb💡 moment”. A moment they completed an exercise, lifted heavier weights, completed an entire class, lost the weight, got stronger, etc. All things they had told themselves they could not do.

And then…they did. I got to witness this over and over and it never got old!

Fast forward to the year 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣0️⃣, the start of the pandemic. I wasn’t instructing fitness classes anymore. Instead, I found myself working from home full time. As with many industries and corporations, 2020 was a challenging year. The oil and gas industry was no different and my corporation went through a major headcount reduction starting with executive level all the way down to hourly employees. So much was out of my control with the uncertainty of my job and with the virus. To help pass the time ⏰ and focus on something that was in my control, I completed Financial Coach Master Training, earned my certificate 📜, and became a Financial Coach.

Many may not know that I’m a nerd 🤓 when it comes to money 💵 . My undergrad degree from Mississippi State University is in Finance so you’d think that’s when the nerd came out, but it wasn’t. I’ve always been into saving money, even from my youth. It wasn’t odd for me to put on a jacket and find money in it. Money that someone gave me and I put in a pocket to save for later.

In my Junior year of college I read the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. After reading his book 📕, I would occasionally listen to his radio 📻 talk show. It made sense. I loved that there were baby steps and I could understand it. Now, mind you, I did not follow the baby steps to a “T”. When I graduated college, I had student loans, a credit card, and a car 🚘 note.

Fast forward through a lot of life and getting remarried in my mid 30’s. We found ourselves in debt. Between tax debt, car 🚘 loan, and student loans; we owed just shy of $30,000. We followed the baby steps and got out of debt within a year’s time. Now we continue to work to pay off our house early and are aggressively saving for retirement. With the 1️⃣1️⃣ year age difference between my husband and me, I hope to retire when he does. That cuts off about 10 years of retirement contributions and savings for me, so it’s hustle time! 👊🏼 #goals

In 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣3️⃣, I became a Leadership Coach in my corporate oil and gas job. I work one-on-one with leaders with direct reports and influential leaders. Influential leaders are ones that may not have a team reporting to them, but they have many people that they must influence to deliver results and progress projects. In reality, we are all influential leaders in our jobs. During coaching sessions I help clients develop goals that we will work on together. During sessions, we talk through challenges, progress, tools 🛠️ , and potentially even new or refreshed goals. My role as a leadership coach is not to solve the problem for my clients, rather to ask ❓ the right questions , give feedback, reframe, and offer perspective that helps the client find their solution.

Anyone starting to see 👀 a theme here?

Coaching.

Regardless if it’s fitness 💪 coaching, leadership coaching, or financial 💵coaching similar skills apply. I’ve always had in inner coach within me. Especially if you’ve read my writings very much, you’ll see 👀 or read 📖 it. I’m frequently asking questions, encouraging improvement and progress, etc. What goals do you have? What are you willing to do differently to achieve them? Who is holding you accountable? What’s holding you back? What is your plan to achieve your goals?

Coaching is all about finding the answers to those questions, creating a plan to execute, and having accountability along the way.

Stay tuned, I’ll have an opening for financial coaching soon! Details to come!