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7 Ways That Aging Has Surprised Me

Aging Well

This article originally published in Tish Co News.

1. Aging Skin

April is my birth month, and another year has come and gone. As I’ve advanced to my early 40’s, I’m reflecting on the ways that aging has surprised me such as how quickly my skin has changed. Even the skin on my hands. It is thinner, dryer with more wrinkles. I remember as a little girl one of my favorite things to do was to play with the skin on the back of my grandmother’s (Grannie Bea) hand. I was fascinated that if I pinched and pulled it up that it would stay there even after I let go. I would repeat that same pinch, pull, release over and over. I didn’t know or think about why that happened. I didn’t understand that as we age skin loses its elasticity and is the cause for the thing that fascinated me in my childhood. When I perform the pinch, pull, release test on my hand, it moves back into place quickly. For now, my skin’s elasticity is still in check. 

Tip: I recently started using this body lotion on my hands and arms and wow! The skin on the back of my hands looks and feels amazing! It really tones and has hydration that lasts.

2. Wrinkles and Gravity

Looking in the mirror, my face looks different, too. I admit that I’m guilty of pulling up the skin at my hairline to better understand the subtle work of gravity and time. In my mind’s eye I’m still 20-something years old and that’s the expectation when I see a photo or myself in the mirror. On the flip side, crow’s feet around my eyes means a life filled with laughter and smiles. The “11” lines between my eyes and forehead lines might mean stress and tension, but it also means the blessing of a job that challenges and grows me; it means friends and family that I love yet worry about too, it means life’s hardships that have shaped me, humbled me, and increased my character. Wrinkles are little marks of history our skin. 

    Tip: A few products I use to help with the aging process:

    Lash Boost: A true eye opener with long lashes.

    Multi-Function Eye Cream: To improve the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles, sagging, and crow’s feet around the eyes.

    Active Hydration Bright Eye Complex: For brightening, hydration around the eyes, and targets the signs of stress and fatigue.

    3. Health

    Gone are the days that I worry about numbers on a scale or the size of the jeans I fit into. Instead, the numbers I’m concerned about are my cholesterol, blood pressure, A1C, glucose numbers, and hormone levels. Health doesn’t equate into a certain look anymore (although that’s a nice byproduct). Health these days is about quality of life. Exercising to sustain muscle mass, which is so important as we age, being able to move around and be as active as I want to be chasing and picking up grandchildren. Being healthy from the inside out. Keeping my weight in check is an uphill battle; gaining weight in places I’d never gained before even though this is the healthiest I’ve eaten in my life! Little did I know how much hormones play into weight gain! If you haven’t had them checked, I’d highly recommend it. That’s for guys and girls! 

    4. Career

    A couple of years ago, I joined a Peer Mentoring Circle at work. I joined thinking I’d like help growing my career. I wanted to be mentored. Once I got to my first meeting, I realized I was one of 2 employees in my circle with the most years with Chevron. This year marks 14 years with my company. It was a shocking turn of the tables to be one of the older and more experienced in the room. I’ve taken that perspective forward now knowing I have a lot I’ve learned along the way and can share with others to help them navigate their career. I didn’t realize I’d entered mid-career because I still feel like I’m in my early career (I’m 20-something in my mind 😉 ). Aging means experience and that’s invaluable. 

    5. Grief

    I’ve now lived 18 years without my mom. I look back to 2007 and reflect on how young I was when she passed, 25 years old. My stepson is 25. To look at him as a reference point of the age I was when I lost my mom is surreal. At 25, you don’t have much life experience or life context in which to measure or compare big life events. I don’t know that I could have known or understood the loss in its entirety. Grief is funny that way. It doesn’t end, although it changes over time. I’m surprised at the ways it’s different now that I’m older; the years having created distance. I know that I’ve missed having a mother’s support in my life. I don’t know what that would have been like to have it, but I know it’s something that’s missing all the same.  You can read more about my mom in this post, Remembering Beyond Loss.

    6. Confidence

    As I reflect on my younger years, I’m thinking about how I wish I’d enjoyed life more, but I was too caught up with anxiety and worry. Fast forward a couple of decades later, I know myself better, I know my beliefs, I’m much more comfortable in my own skin and I wouldn’t trade it to be younger again. I understand more and more the adage, “youth is wasted on the young” because my oh my what I would do with youth now with the knowledge I have gained with aging.  

    7. Wisdom

    Each year grants the opportunity to be wiser and gain more perspective on this short life. I can appreciate having more experiences to draw from and I am thankful for getting older. I’m grateful for the maturity and wisdom that aging brings. The wisdom and blessings that are received can be given away to others. I’ve been blessed with time to make mistakes and learn from them. The years we’ve lived is an investment. We often think about investments in the form of financial. Time is a priceless investment. What reflections do you have as your birthday draws near? What have you learned and what will you do differently? How will you make the most of another birthday? What does aging well mean to you? 

    What is Perspective Confessions?

    Perspective Confessions

    Hi! I’m Carlynn creator of Perspective Confessions. Welcome! I’m so glad you are here! The idea of Perspective Confessions was born in 2015. Writing has been a practice in my life starting in grade school and it made sense to create Perspective Confessions to be able to share articles, journal entries, musings, etc. about topics such as career, financial health, and overall wellbeing with all of you. When I write, I am able to connect with myself, unearth hidden truths much more easily than when I’m talking to a friend. Did you know that truth telling = confession? To confess is to tell the truth. Most, if not all of us, don’t stay connected to ourselves all the time. Our lives are filled with distractions and it takes work to get connected back up with yourself to understand how you might feel about something, know what decision to make, or to get connected to what’s true. Writing helps me do all those things. At some point, the writings in my journal shifted from writing just for myself to writing so that others could read it too. The truths that I’ve unearthed for myself I want to share it more broadly because my words might be the words that someone else needs, can relate to, and/or help them think about a situation from a different perspective. By the way, the quote below is from an amazing book, Living Fearless by Jamie Winship. Highly recommend!

    “Truth always sets you free. Hiding truth always makes you a slave. If you will not tell the truth, you’re in bondage to the lie, the deception, and the rationalization.” – Living Fearless by Jamie Winship

    Coach

    As my professional life has advanced, I received my Financial Coaching certification and in my full-time Corporate America job, I am a Leadership Coach. You can learn more about financial health here, and you can read more about my experience with coaching in this post. Whether it be with writing or working one on one with others, the commonality is that I enjoy helping and connecting with people.

    Career Confessions

    Before I was able to climb the corporate ladder, I struggled mightily. A lot with anxiety. In my mid to late twenties, I went through some big life changes that included moving from a small town to a big city, combating severe anxiety, losing my mom, and divorce. I wrote a full series on my Career Confessions that you can read about here. I share tips about how I found new ways of working with anxiety, shifted my mindset, and slowly climbed the career ladder.

    Wellbeing

    Yes, writing about all those struggles makes me vulnerable. I hold the belief that we can learn from one another. Sharing helps us not feel alone or like we are the “only ones”. I listened to a podcast a long time ago that said we would not need therapists or counselors if we lived in good, healthy community because that good, healthy community would give us supportive and constructive feedback, come alongside the hard parts of life, share tools to help with life, etc. I believe that is true. The vast majority of us, though, live in isolation especially with today’s technology. And because of that, the need to be mindful and intentional with our wellbeing is paramount.

    I’d love it if you’d join me as we learn about career, financial health, and overall wellbeing. Curiosity is key  in exploring differing perspectives…zooming out to see the big picture and zooming in to look at things more closely. It’s the push and pull of these vantage points that we can learn the most. Perspective Confessions is the source for inspiration for those who want to learn and grow. I am continually growing and learning; unearthing discoveries, and sharing truth or confessions I’ve learned along with the way from varying perspectives.. Perspective Confessions is about getting to the root of challenges as it relates to career, financial, and overall wellbeing and creating a toolbox of resources from what’s learned to equip you for the next step. If you want tools to manage your career and finances, value slowing down for a better quality of life, and aren’t afraid of being challenged; then you are in the right place.

    If you know of someone that:

    • is struggling with their career,
    • struggles with anxiety or with big life changes,
    • wants to get their finances back on track,
    • wants to find a better balance in their life from the fast track, fast paced life they’re living, please share perspectiveconfessions.com with them!

    And by all means, don’t miss any Perspective Confessions posts. Make sure you subscribe!

    Financial Health, Career, and Wellbeing

    Part 7: Career Confessions From a Small Town Girl in the Big City

    Part 7: Career Confessions

    If you are just joining this series, catch up here: Career Confessions parts 1-6.

    Career Confessions Bonus

    Surprise, there’s a bonus! The Career Confessions series isn’t done yet! The story is still unfolding. As I was originally writing the Career Confession series back in 2023, I received an offer for a new job within Chevron. This time the position of Leadership Coach. In this role, I would coach leaders. Brand new leaders, influential leaders, seasoned leaders leading new teams, and any individual contributor that would like to take part in coaching. Each one of us has a leader within capable of learning leadership behaviors, and exercising them for lasting, sustainable results at work.  

    Imposter Syndrome

    With any new job, feelings and thoughts can surface that say “I’m not qualified”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t know what I’m doing”, “why did they pick me?!”, “what if they find out I can’t do this?!”, “what if they find out I don’t have the skills?!”, and on and on the fearful thoughts spiral. I am not and was not immune. I had many of these exact thoughts when I was selected for this opportunity. This experience has a name, it’s called Imposter Syndrome. It’s not only limited to work…you might experience it if you are a new parent or in a new season of parenting. You might experience it when caring for an aging parent, or a new volunteer opportunity. Anything that gets you out of your comfort zone could have you experiencing imposter syndrome.  

    My new job as a Leadership Coach had me all in imposter syndrome. Anxiety had taken center stage a few times and I was battling through it. Remember the anxiety I wrote about experiencing in Part 1 and Part 2 of this series. Well, I was experiencing it again, but in a different way. I have tools to combat anxiety, and it was time to use them. I began thinking about Moses. Yes, Moses, the guy that God chose to be the spokesperson and leader of the Israelites. I felt that God had called me to this Leadership Coaching job and had created a way for me to do this job even if I felt over my head at times. I looked up the passages in Exodus and prayed through it. This is one way I battled with anxiety and imposter syndrome. I knew that if God had appeared to Moses in a burning bush and Moses said, “no, not me” to God, he must have had some serious imposter syndrome. I found comfort in knowing Moses felt less than, felt he wasn’t worthy, felt he didn’t speak well, felt he wasn’t up to the challenge. God doesn’t make mistakes and Moses had been chosen. This is how I prayed through scripture. 

    Praying Through Scripture

    Scripture: Exodus 3:10-11 – So now, go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt. But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” 

    Prayer: Lord, how many times have you called me to action? How many times have I not heard or chose not to hear? Fear standing between you and me and what you are calling me to do. I am thankful for your word and for Moses. He doubted his worth. He doubted you, Lord. He doubted his capabilities. 

    Scripture: Exodus 3:12 – And God said, “I will be with you…” 

    Prayer: And yet you were patient and reassured Moses. 

    Scripture: Exodus 4:1 – Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me.” 

    Scripture: Exodus 4:10-15 – Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” 

    Prayer: Even with your reassurance, Lord, Moses still doubts. 

    Scripture: Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite?” I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you and will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.” 

    Prayer: Lord, you were resolute in your choosing of Moses for the Israelites’ spokesperson. You pursued him. You were steadfast. May I remember this when I feel your calling of me. Thank you for your word that shows the imperfection of people. There is comfort in the human disbelief…that it’s not just me. Your calling is intentional. You teach, walk beside, and equip those you call. You never forsake. Thank you, Father, for showing me in your word that imposter syndrome is not new; that doubt is common in human flesh. May I apply this wisdom to my life. Hide this teaching in my heart. Grant me courage to overcome the doubt and fear to step out in faith. Help me, Father, to humbly obey and follow you. Thank you for your grace and your patience with me as I continually work to train my ears to hear your callings amongst all the worldly noise. Give me sensitivity to your whispers and nudges. Amen 

    Tools to Battle Through Imposter Syndrome

    Sometimes falling on our knees in prayer is the exact right way to battle. Did this prayer make the imposter syndrome go away? No, it didn’t. However, it kept me showing up to each meeting with each leader. It led me to pray before each coaching session and invite God into that conversation. These scriptures were a reminder that God equips who He has called. He doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I knew by showing up even with the discomfort of imposter syndrome, I was going to gain more and more confidence. I was going to make mistakes. I was going to learn from them. I was going to be better because I was scared and sometimes being scared is a great motivator. It’s motivation to learn quickly so you don’t feel that way anymore. God was equipping me through the fear and through the imposter syndrome.  

    Scripture: James 1:2-4 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

    I was only going to get through it by walking through it one step at a time. He used this opportunity to hold up a mirror to show me all the things I had the capabilities to do and had not recognized in myself yet. He was showing me that I was equipped all along, but I needed a nudge (or push) out in the middle of the ring…to feel exposed to grow into who He made me to be. I can’t tell you how many of the leaders I have coached that have told me about their imposter syndrome too. No one is immune. We are all fallible human beings. We are all capable of learning. We are all capable of growing. We are better by showing up and doing it scared. Don’t let the anxiety or fear prove you right. You prove the anxiety and fear wrong. Prove the imposter syndrome wrong.  

    If you know someone that has recently changed jobs and is experiencing anxiety or imposter syndrome, please share this blog post and this series with them.

    Part 6: Career Confessions of a Small Town Girl in the Big City

    You can read the original publication of Part 6 of the Career Confessions series in the Tishomingo County News linked here.

    Part 6 of Career Confessions

    If you have read parts 1 – 5 yet, make sure to catch up. Find them linked here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5.

    Back in 2006 I had no idea of what life had in store for me. To be honest, I’m glad I didn’t have a crystal ball to predict what would happen. It would have scared the heck out of me and I’m sure I would have run away to hide, at least for a while. The older we become, the more perspective we have, but we still don’t know what the future holds. Only God holds the whole picture. If He revealed the whole picture of our lives all at once, I’m pretty sure we would all run and hide. In His wisdom, He gives us one day and one moment at a time. My career has had many challenges AND there have been many successes. It’s easy to focus on the negative unless you remember there are peaks AND valleys along the way. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come unless you look back to where you started. Hence a theme throughout this series has been context is everything and hindsight too. 

    One could assume that I moved away to the big city and I’m living the high life. It’s easy to make assumptions about what someone’s life might be like. We live in a world where we have filters for the pictures we take and we post about the best parts of our lives. What if we pulled back the curtain to look at the parts that aren’t quite so polished? What about the not so neat and tidy parts? Life is rarely wrapped up in a neat little bow. To be honest, I am a little freaked that I’ve pulled back the curtain to write about the not so polished, neat and tidy parts of my life. Regardless, I think it’s more important to share so others might not feel alone or feel as though they have fallen short. Don’t be ashamed of the struggles because they lend themselves to building character. And my oh my what character I have built! 

    The last question I asked the students at TCHS is, “how do you define success?” What does success mean to you? The shortest path between two points is a straight line. Start and finish. Success is rarely completed with a straight line. It’s much like a map with construction, detours, and can take much longer than anticipated. All those twists and turns and sometimes falling off the path completely means learning and gaining wisdom (aka context and hindsight). Don’t let the world tell you what success should be. You decide and pursue it. Success doesn’t have to mean lots money or fame. It could be getting married and having a family or paying off debt or buying a house or spending more time with friends and family. Success is measured by how you are fulfilled and progress, not perfection. My definition of success is to keep going, to learn from my mistakes and do better once I know better. I want to continuously be a better daughter, wife, sister, friend, Christian, stepmom and employee.

    Every one of the “if I could go back and tell my younger self” advice included in this series…well those aren’t just for my younger self, it’s for me right now today too. Writing this series has been humbling. A few tears shed too. Sometimes writing it down causes you to think about it more thoroughly and thoughtfully. I didn’t get this far by myself. There have been people woven into this journey that have encouraged, reflected, come alongside me, cared and loved me through it. I would be completely remiss if I didn’t recognize God’s hand in all of it too. He has walked with me and guided me. Knowing that I am a shy, introverted girl, and yet I have a spirit of boldness that could only be explained as a gift from God. So I am going to keep going and I’m taking all the context, hindsight and life tidbits with me that I’ve learned along the way. My prayer is that you keep going too otherwise we may never get to our destination called success.

    Part 5: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

    This article was originally published in Tishomingo County News, linked here.

    If you missed the previous 4 parts of this series, find them here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

    At the beginning of this Career Confessions series, I wrote about visiting the Career and College Readiness classes and the football team at Tishomingo County High School (TCHS). That visit has been the inspiration for these articles. Growing up, I never thought about working for a company like Chevron. Honestly, I’m not sure I knew what Chevron was when I was in high school other than as a gas station. There isn’t much oil and gas activity in Iuka, Mississippi. Because of that, I wanted to share this wonderful company that I have worked with for 14 years. I wanted the students to know that if I could find my way to Chevron, it wasn’t out of their reach either. 

    My sister and I at Tishomingo County High School

    The students and I discussed economics at a high level. Oil and gas are commodities and are publicly traded on the open market. The market sets the price along with other global economies. Since many of these students drive, they understood the price of gas when filling up their cars. We talked through a recent big change in prices at the pump and how the pandemic impacted supply and demand. Demand dropped dramatically when the world shut down. Supply was in excess for the demand which drove down the price of gas. As the world opened again, demand increases but supply lags since it had been reduced to meet low demand during the pandemic. This caused prices to increase. This happened in many industries and many products because of the pandemic. 

    Because Chevron is an Energy Company, I shared with the students about Chevron’s mission to provide affordable, reliable and ever-cleaner energy to the world. Chevron recently created Chevron New Energies, a section of the company that is investing in products to advance a lower carbon future, such as carbon capture and hydrogen. This part of the company is where an entrepreneurial spirit is encouraged because these projects are forging pathways in the energy transition. What a great place for outside the box thinkers and problem solvers. It was important to share with TCHS students the many opportunities within Chevron they may want to consider as they graduate, pursue higher education and/or careers. 

    As described in previous articles, my career journey has been multifaceted, and I think that’s an accurate description of my career within Chevron too. I began working at Chevron in late 2011 after obtaining a job with a staffing agency. This job was a Technical Assistant with major capital projects. I became a Chevron employee in 2013, this time as a Senior Administrator to a General Manager named Dave. Dave was and still is my favorite manager. Dave had high expectations for his department including myself. It felt, at times, higher than what I was capable. He challenged and mentored me to being a better employee. But most importantly, Dave cared about his employees. Dave gave me a great start to my career at Chevron. Chevron’s tagline is Human Energy meaning Chevron is successful because of its people. Dave is one example of working alongside some of the best and brightest.  

    For the first 7 years at Chevron, I was a trusted advisor and support to several General Managers. None of those jobs required me to have a college education. Not to say it didn’t help me, but it wasn’t mandatory. That’s another relevant point I wanted to make to the students at TCHS. Don’t let perceptions hold you back. Make the most of every job, even if you are only in supportive roles. I’ve had some of the most incredible experiences. For example, I’ve attended weekly meetings with executives and their leadership teams (this is the epitome of learning from the best and brightest); I’ve flown on Chevron’s corporate jet several times to Midland, TX; and I’ve also travelled on Chevron business to Calgary, Alberta Canada; Covington, Louisiana; and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I’ve had a bird’s eye view of business strategy, worked on diverse teams, problem solved and executed projects. It has been exciting, challenging, competitive, exhilarating, and has grown me to new levels. My experience at Chevron has been incredible! I am so thankful for all the opportunities and excited for the future.  

    Because the Energy industry is driven by market prices and global economies, that means I have also faced market downturns in my career. At the publication of this post on my blog, I’m currently facing a restructuring of the company. This could be viewed as a negative, but I view it as an opportunity. These downturns have created movement in my career to gain exposure and experience in other parts of Chevron’s business and I wouldn’t trade any of it. Context is everything and hindsight too. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything and emphasize to the students at TCHS, it would be, “What appears to be a challenge very well could be an opportunity. Don’t discount your job title. You can make it what you want. Don’t be afraid to ask for and explore new opportunities. Own your career.” 

    So, what happens next? Only 1 article left! Next week I’ll wrap up this series. Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the last story of this Career Confessions series from a small-town girl in the big city. 

    Part 4: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

    This article was originally published in the Tishomingo County News, linked here.

    If you missed parts 1 – 3, find them linked here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

    The downsides to working with Downtown Paws were twofold; working outside also meant working in the rain and I was alone all day. While I processed my mother’s death, I think being alone was good. There came a time, however, that I needed to be around people, and I was ready for a new challenge. After some job applications and interviews, I received a position with the church I was attending, West Houston Church of Christ (WHCC). This job meant I would be back in an office setting. Was I nervous? Yes! Did I think things were going to be different this time? I wasn’t sure. This was somewhere familiar and with people I knew, so it seemed less threatening. This job was the Administrative Assistant to the Senior Minister. He was relatively low maintenance, and my main responsibilities were found in creating weekly and quarterly publications; event planning; database management; etc. I was able to lean into my creative and analytical skillsets in this job and it came with a pay increase.

    I think it’s important to pause here and note that some people know exactly who and what they want to be when they grow up. I admire these people who know their strengths and relentlessly pursue them. For me, though, it wasn’t about what or who I wanted to be. I was still trying to figure out how to survive. I was still trying to manage this anxiety and I hadn’t had enough space from it to know if the worst were behind me. If I could characterize my career journey to this point it would be like a map. My map was really hard to read and had many, many detours because of construction. I was building something. It was painfully slow, brick by brick. 

    I was holding my breath those first couple of weeks at WHCC…not sure if I would sink or swim. The familiarity of the place and people helped. I know, I know, when you think about working at a church, you probably think a very small office and older employees. These assumptions would be incorrect. The office staff was made up of 12 employees. Almost half the staff, including myself, were in their mid to late 20’s. But everyone was young at heart, especially Andy who was always so positive, happy and randomly bursting out in song. He was the worship minister. Mary was extremely kind to me with the loss of my mom and she became like a second mom. Shawn, she became my best friend. James and Tim were supportive and encouraging. We all were a great team. We worked hard and had fun too. I worked at WHCC for 3 years.

    Something in me had shifted after my mom’s death. She had been very sick with diabetes that led to kidney failure. She had congestive heart failure among other ailments. I wanted to honor my mom’s memory by taking better care of my health. That led to joining the YMCA which coincidentally was only a block from WHCC. Going to fitness classes became my favorite pastime. Pro tip: exercise is GREAT for anxiety! It only took one kickboxing class taught by Misty and I was hooked. Misty became my personal trainer for a while. One day she asked me, “Why don’t you become a fitness instructor? You’d be great at it.” The thought never crossed my mind, but the seed was planted. With Misty’s help, I studied and became a certified fitness instructor. Not only was I working full time at WHCC, now I was teaching up to 10 classes a week and I loved every minute of it! 

    The anxiety of working in an office setting was subsiding. I was building more confidence and self-esteem by teaching and helping others become better versions of themselves. I had the best, most fun students. The best compliment I have ever received was being nicknamed “Coach”. Who would have ever thought this shy, small-town girl would be leading boot camp, kickboxing, weight training classes, and getting paid to do it? Certainly not me.

    Context is everything and hindsight too. When I reflect on how I got to this point in my story, it’s not nearly as much about me as it is about the people that walked beside me at the right times just as God intended. The ones that held up a mirror to reflect back to me my strengths and talents. Without those people, I wouldn’t have had courage or recognized my strengths. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be, “Don’t discount the people along your journey. Listen to them. Believe them when they tell you that you are good at something. Don’t be afraid to lean on people. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. God has a plan for you.” 

    Remember what I referenced in Part 3? The ebbs and flows of life and even if professional success is happening, it doesn’t always bleed over into personal success. What many didn’t know was my marriage was on the rocks. Things may have looked great on the outside, but they weren’t on the inside. My marriage would eventually end. This would be the third major life event which would forge a path to Corporate America.

    So, what happens next? How did I move forward? Only 2 articles left! Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story in part 5 of this career series from a small-town girl in the big city.

    Part 3: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City

    This article was originally published in the Tishomingo County Newspaper, linked here.

    If you missed Parts 1 and 2 in the Career Series, catch up now! They are linked here and here.

    There was finally some progress and stability on the job front and in my new life in Houston too. Before I left Super Suppers, I was recognized for my hard work and customer service. I was given a 2% raise. Can you calculate the 2% increase on $5.15/hour? 😉 It wasn’t much but it was recognition for a job well done and what the ‘mom and pop’ startup could afford at the time. It was a sincere gesture that they wanted to reward and recognize my work. I was even offered the position of Assistant Manager. Instead of pursuing advancement at Super Suppers, I had another job on the horizon. This time working for Downtown Paws, a dog walking and pet sitting company. This was a well-established business, and my job was to manage all the clients. I more than doubled my paycheck by taking this job. I travelled all over downtown Houston visiting many homes with furry, four legged clients. It wasn’t unusual to drive 100 miles each day. I had keys to each client’s home which resulted in having a keychain that resembled something like that of a janitor. Each stop consisted of dog walks ranging from short visits (a quick potty break) to 30 minute or 1-hour walks and playtime. My furry clients were all types of breeds…a French Bulldog named Olivia; a Great Dane named Lance; Boxers named Strider and Rose; Chocolate labs named Moose and Guinness; and everything in between. One of the job perks? Besides being with animals all day, I had a killer ankle sock tan line from all the time in the sun. 😎 

    The best job perk was the confidence I gained from driving all over downtown Houston. If you’ve ever visited Houston, you will understand there’s a 610 loop and a Beltway 8; that I-10 runs East to West; I-45 runs North to South; I-59 runs Northeast to Southwest; 290 runs Northwest and the difference between the Med Center; Downtown; the Galleria; the Heights; Midtown, etc. With Houston being the 4th largest city in the United States, it can be quite overwhelming. I was still applying the working knowledge of a physical job to distract my brain from the anxiety. I also love animals, hello emotional support! What I didn’t know is how much Downtown Paws would help me build more self-esteem and confidence. This job took the intimidation out of driving in Houston. With navigating Houston now conquered, I proved to myself that I could do new, hard and scary things. I remained at Downtown Paws for 1.5 years. 

    There is a series of ebbs and flows to life. It is never constant. Sometimes you can have success in your professional life while your personal life is struggling. For instance, even though I was gaining traction at work, something else was happening in my life. My mom was placed in the hospital the Christmas of 2006 while I was still working at Super Suppers and little did I know, she would never go home again. Her last 6 months of life were in the hospital, and she passed away June of 2007 while I was working with Downtown Paws. This was the second major life event for me in only one year’s time. The first was moving to Houston.  

    Context is everything and hindsight too. As I reflect back at this painful time, I know I was in the right jobs at the right times. I needed the time, space and relatively low stress level jobs because of what I was enduring with the anxiety and then the sickness and death of my mom. I wasn’t and couldn’t have been ready for anything more career wise. God had placed me exactly where I needed to be.  

    Life is all about peaks and valleys. Good times, bad times and the in between times. I just happened to experience a lot of valleys and bad times right at the beginning of what I thought was going to be this great new chapter of my life. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be, “hang in there. It does get better, I promise.” I don’t know that I would have many other words than that for my younger self, but I know that I would look directly into her eyes when I said those words. I would give her a warm hug and just sit with her for comfort and to process all the ways her world seems to be coming undone. For those that have experienced life altering change, be kind and patient with yourself and take it one day at a time. 

    So, what happens next? How did I move forward? Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story in part 4 of this career series from a small-town girl in the big city. 

    Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City: Part 2

    This article was originally published at Tishomingo County News, see it linked here.

    The job situation wasn’t looking good only a few months after graduating college in the summer of 2006. I was a tadpole in an ocean called Houston, Texas and the anxiety attacks supported that analogy. I tried another office temp job. I was ok for a couple of days and then quit that job too. I witnessed a girl get fired. I got in my head about it and couldn’t let the fear go that I would be next. Never mind that the fear was unfounded. Anxiety doesn’t work that way. It’s not logical. It was all unwarranted fear. None of this was a good look for me nor a good track record for trying to find and keep a job. Not to mention the temp agency wasn’t going to work with me again. How was I supposed to explain what I was going through? From the outside looking in, I looked like a mess and who wants to hire a mess? I was an unreliable employee, and I couldn’t blame them for thinking that way. 

    Back then one of my favorite channels to watch was the Food Network Channel. I love to cook! I don’t remember the name of the show, but it highlighted this new up and coming food preparation franchise called Super Suppers. I was intrigued. It was founded in Texas and one was opening not far from my apartment. I was beginning to shift gears. Since I was having trouble in an office setting type job, I thought if I could get a job working with my hands, I could distract my brain. I met the Assistant Manager for an interview and was offered a job a few days later. It was a job for minimum wage, $5.15/hour. 

    A quick pause here because it’s important to note this job and the minimum wage offer. I was a college graduate and making minimum wage. 

    Now back to the story…something else was shifting, although I couldn’t possibly have known it back then. I had begun attending a church in Northwest Houston and found a woman who had her counseling certificate. She was offering her services free of charge to members of the church, and I began seeing her to talk through the anxiety I was experiencing. I was already incredibly nervous to begin yet another job for obvious reasons and on top of that I had created a realistic fear within myself that I wouldn’t be able to handle it…much like a self-fulfilling prophesy. Combine those together and ladies and gentlemen we have an almost perfect storm. But guess what? The storm dissipated before it had a chance to fully form.

    On my first day at Super Suppers, we were tasked with cleaning the store to get ready for opening day. I spent several hours with rags, paper towels, and cleansing agents on my hands and knees scrubbing all the things. The following days consisted of prepping recipes in the kitchen and at the differing workstations. I enjoyed all of it! My hunch was correct, by keeping my hands busy, I was able to distract my mind. One day turned into a week and that turned into working at Super Suppers for 6 whole months. 

    Several things happened at Super Suppers that helped get my feet back underneath me. First, I was learning to work with and through the anxiety.  Next, I was beginning to create a community. I was seeing the church counselor who was giving me an outlet to speak fears out loud. Sometimes fears can be incredibly scary when left unspoken. Letting them out with a trusted person dilutes them. I was beginning to build self-esteem again. I was beginning to have more steps forward than backward. I also met Jen who began working part time at Super Suppers. We became fast friends. She shared her challenges with anxiety and that she was working through some things too. She showed me that normal, regular people struggle and that it’s ok. Context is everything and hindsight too. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be, “slow down, life isn’t a race. Sometimes the journey takes much longer than we wanted or anticipated. Sometimes we have to try different things until we find the right things. Sometimes we have to make baby steps when we want to take leaps. Everything will work out and be ok.” The key was to keep pressing forward and to keep shining a light in the dark corner that my big life change had caused. Jen, my counselor and Super Suppers were all shining lights in that darkness. 

    The story isn’t finished yet. There’s more ground to cover from dog walking, to working nonprofit, fitness instructing and Corporate America. So, what happens next? Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story in part 3 of this career series from a small-town girl in the big city.

    Career Confessions From a Small Town Girl in the Big City: Part 1

    This article was originally published in Tishomingo County News. See link for published article.

    Early in 2022, I visited my alma mater, Tishomingo County High School, to speak to the Career and College Readiness classes and to the football team. The football coach during that time had created a wonderful program to bring back alumni of Tishomingo County High School to speak to students, share their career journey, work skills, and life tidbits. It was called Wednesday #ROW Above the Line Character Education and Real Talk. It was an absolute honor to be invited to participate.

    I had lots to share being a shy girl that moved to the big city. And let me tell you, I did not have a career trajectory when I moved to the big city. Nope, not at all. I wanted to share my story with students at Tish County. I wanted to share my messy path to the career I have now. If I’d had someone share with me back when I was in high school that life doesn’t always look the way you think it will, that it’s ok to make mistakes, to figure it out one step at a time; then maybe I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself. Spoiler alert, I wouldn’t change anything about my messy path because it got me to where I am now.

    In fact, in 2006 I moved to Houston the day after graduating from Mississippi State University with an undergraduate degree in Finance. I was not recruited by a company in Houston and the real reason I moved so suddenly was because I was married to someone that had a job offer in Houston. I followed, obviously, however his success with a career did not measure up to the opportunities I had. Nope, in fact, I STRUGGLED mightily to find my way, or to even find a job. I stopped counting the job applications after I surpassed 100. No calls, no emails…crickets. I knew no one, had no contacts, nothing. I think a lot of people might find themselves in a similar place. You have a college degree or experience and yet no job offer, not real leads, nada.

    So what did I do? I started with what I could find…a temp job which was a receptionist in downtown Houston in one of those gigantic skyscrapers. I remember it so vividly and don’t even know how I had the gumption and fortitude to ride a metro bus into downtown, walk to the right building, and then find my way to the appropriate floor. I remember my job was to answer the phone and connect the calls to the right people. The calls that came in were from people that had foreign accents, asking for people that I didn’t know how to pronounce their names. I asked the people on the phone to repeat themselves quite often and prayed as I connected the calls. I began to sweat at the front desk from the pressure of the phone ringing. I survived, though, even if the temp job only lasted a couple of days. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything, it would be, “there’s no pressure with a temp job that’s only 2 days in length. Relax! You are doing great!”

    I found another job shortly thereafter, this time working at a staffing agency. I worked closely with a girl named Courtney. We were about the same age, our birthdays were both in April, and she attended Ole Miss for about a year. Small world and I was so glad to find someone with a Mississippi connection. I made it about 2 weeks in that job. I didn’t get fired, I quit. Why would I do such a thing? I struggled so much after I moved. I began having what I now know were anxiety attacks. Not being able to breath, crying uncontrollably, unable to calm myself. It was horrible and I quit my job. I was incredibly embarrassed and my already fragile self esteem took a major hit. The worst of it all was I felt like I let down my new friend, Courtney. I couldn’t find the words to tell her what was going on and I left without an explanation. I still feel terrible about it to this day. I felt like something was wrong with me and like I was a failure which only pushed me further into the anxiety.

    Context is everything and so is hindsight. Looking back and reflecting has helped me understand that the only way I was going to get through that horrible time was to walk through it as hard as it was and as much as I felt like I wasn’t going to make it. Putting one foot in front of the other and yes, sometimes taking two or three steps backward. I needed to give myself some time to adjust to the big life change of uprooting myself from everything I’d ever known. And yet I needed to work and make money. Life doesn’t stop and neither do the bills! They weren’t going to pay for themselves. What did I do next? Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story as this is the first part in a career series from a small town girl in the big city.

    Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl in the Big City: Introduction


    A couple of years ago, I wrote a series about my career journey for Tish County News. The series was inspired by an invitation to speak to the Career and College Readiness classes and the football team at my alma mater, Tishomingo County High School. The message I wanted to convey to those high school students wasn’t about my job and current life, rather the journey that it had taken to get there. I was not and still do not have a high profile job or career. My life after high school took some ups and downs and winding roads. I wish someone would have been able to give me the 30,000 foot view while I was experiencing it all at ground zero. It would have been helpful to have insights and perspectives along my journey after high school. The invitation to speak to high school students and to write this series was an opportunity to fill in the gap I wish I’d had. I hope you will follow along for the next several weeks as the story unfolds. There will be tips and tidbits shared as I look back with the wisdom that only hindsight can bring. I’ll share what I would tell my younger self as I look back on the moments when I struggled with extreme anxiety, low self esteem, low confidence, feeling altogether lost, and walking through big life events such as my mom’s passing, divorce, and multiple job changes. Now is a great time to subscribe if you haven’t done so yet. Don’t miss this series! It’s packed full of actionable insight no matter where you are along your career journey.

    Perspective Confessions

    Discovering grounded truths in an uprooted world

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